


Insomnia

by parley42



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Depression, F/M, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-20 22:44:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20683163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parley42/pseuds/parley42
Summary: She sees him in her dreams now.  She does not see the others worry.





	Insomnia

She walks near where the sky meets the sea. The Fade is beautiful here - all calm waves and beautiful sunsets. In the distance she can see his figure, watching her. She knows from experience that if she tries to meet him, tries to talk to him, he will disappear. So she sits down on the beach, and waits. Hoping one day that he will come to meet her.

Lyra wakes up.

It was another typical day in Skyhold. After the defeat of Corypheus, things had slowed down considerably. Lyra felt like she actually had time to breathe. Of course, that also meant that she could let her mind wander, which wasn’t always a good thing. Lelianna approached her - still no news on the whereabouts of Solas. Not that she expected anything different, but the news disappointed her all the same. Where could he be hiding?

She walks in Haven now, still miraculously preserved in the world of dreams. She stands where they first kissed, and misses him. He does not come this night.

Lyra spends more time asleep than waking now. Hoping to see him. She knows she is wallowing, that she is trapped in what cannot be, but she can’t help it all the same. I defeated Corypheus. I deserve some time to myself. She does not see the worried faces of her friends.

She walks in a forest she once called home. Her clan surrounding her, celebrating her victories. She looks around and sees him watching her with the same sad expression on his face. She motions for him to come closer. She waits for a moment that never comes.

_What should we do?_

_About what?_

_You know, the Inquisitor. She’s not herself, hasn’t been since Solas left._

_Look Seeker, I’m worried too, but there isn’t much we can do about a broken heart. We’ll just have to wait and see._

_What if she doesn’t get better?_

_Damned if I know._

Her waking hours are spent in a daze now. She pays attention to things she must, and ignoring those things that can wait. She is still a capable Inquisitor, but she is quickly becoming a shell of her former self.

_What should we do? She’s not getting better._

_I really don’t know. There is no news of Solas to be had, and even if there was, would it help her? _

He doesn’t appear in her dreams now, perhaps sensing her dependence on them, perhaps seeing her is painful, but whatever the reason, he is no longer there. Lyra despairs. Dreams are now more painful than waking, without him, so she stops sleeping unless absolutely necessary. At first, everyone is relieved - they think the old Inquisitor Lyra has returned. Gradually they realize that the new problem is as bad as the first.

_Varric, do you know what to do?_

_Why does everyone assume I know? I’m as lost as you are Sparkler._

_We’re both her friends Varric, we should be able to think of SOMETHING._

_When that happens, you’ll be the first to know._

_You too Varric. _

She walks in Skyhold now, except it’s empty of all life. It hurts, she thinks, not seeing her companions and advisers where they normally are. She sees him standing near the gate, looking around at the empty castle with a bewildered expression. He looks at her, his eyes softening as they see her pained expression. He turns around and leaves, leaving her truly alone in her dreams.

_I miss him, but I think I miss the others just as much even though they’re right beside me._

She is depressed, she realizes one day when staring out at nothing and everything. When did that happen? How could she LET that happen? Her anger blossoms, then turned inward by her own thoughts. Realizing is only the first step however, and she stews in her own thoughts for days, barely eating or sleeping. She is walking around exhausted, unable to get out of her own head. Try as she might, she cannot get out of this state on her own. After she collapses at a meeting - scaring all advisers present, she finally wanders out and finds Mother Giselle. 

_I need help._

Lyra slowly begins to heal. It is not quick, or easy, but Lyra slowly finds herself opening up again to her friends. Her sleep is still fitful, but at least she tries to get some sleep regularly now. Her sleep has been mostly without dreams thankfully.

Lyra wakes up at the War Table, a blanket over her shoulders. How long had she been asleep? The sun is low in the sky now. At least her sleep had been blessedly dreamless. She walks out of the room, and finds her friends enjoying a game of Wicked Grace at the table.

_Join us Lyra! Cullen’s almost lost his shirt again!_

Lyra feels better than she has in weeks, so she does. She sees the relieved faces of her companions and wonders at how long she has been out of it, to worry others so. They deal her in, and Varric begins another one of his stories. As she spends time with her friends, she feels like she is coming out of a fog, that some missing piece of her is falling back into place. Perhaps she will take better care of herself, from now on.

_I’m happy Varric._

_Me too kid._

_Her thoughts aren’t so dark anymore._

_That’s a good thing._

_She didn’t want me to help. She wanted to get better on her own. Why couldn’t I help?_

_She wanted to get better on her own terms, I think._

_I don’t think I understand, but I am happy for her._

_All of us are, kid. _

She walks near where the sky meets the sea. It is still a beautiful place. The wind in her hair almost feels real. She sees Solas standing in the distance again. She smiles at him now. She feels that they will one day meet again, in some manner. It does not have to be today. She sits down to enjoy the scenery of her dream. She does not see him smile back at her.


End file.
